The Forest Where Yamada Saw Fireflies
by Winaru
Summary: On New Year's Eve, a twenty-something year old Hamaji returns home and finds his old classmate Sakura Momoko's diary hidden under the shoe cabinet in his home. Fifteen years had passed since Gr.3 Cl.4 (in which time Hamaji and all his 3-4 classmates had done a whole lot of growing up). Still curious to know what goes on in Maruko's mind, he flips open the diary and begins to read…
1. Home

The Forest Where Yamada Saw Fireflies

(One)

My name is Hamazaki Noritaka. No one has called me "Hamaji" in four years. Yet that's the first thing I heard when I stepped off the train at Shimizu station. True, it might only have been the squeal of the conductor's whistle or the screeching of the wheels when the train thundered off back to Tokyo, but it _is_ understandable right? I mean, I had finally returned to my home town. Shimizu-cho: the place of my childhood, the place where I spent the best years of my life! I had the right to be a little bit nostalgic, right?

The whole time on the train I was thinking of the perfect prank I could play on my brothers when I arrived home. I guess I could knock on the door and run away, I thought as I wolfed down my bento lunch box. Better yet, I could sneak in through an open window, roll out my futon and when they walked into my room (to make sure everything was neat and ready for when I got home) I would simply pretend that I had never left, that I was angry at them for overlooking me all these years.

That sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

But as my morning coffee wore out, I descended from that place above the clouds and flopped back down on my seat, returning to the person I had become. The train rumbled alongside the vast meadows and blue mountains. I pressed my forehead against the cold glass and watched herds of cows and horses zoom past us. My eyelids grew heavier the longer I gazed out the window. The blurry scenery had a drowsy effect on me and I quickly fell asleep.

When I woke up the train had stopped at Shizuoka station. I rubbed my eyes. It still seemed somewhat unreal. This would be my first time seeing my family in over four years.

What was more, I would also be reuniting with my elementary school classmates. I still met with Butaro and Sekiguchi once or twice every month so I knew that Butaro had not been able to break away from his habit of saying "buu" after every sentence. I also knew that Sekiguchi was dating a NASA scientist called Minami Hiroko. After Butaro told me the news (Sekiguchi had bailed on us that day), for the life of me I could not figure out how a guy like Sekiguchi managed to find such an intelligent girl like her.

"Remember how we used to think we'd never become friends with anyone outside the people in our class?" Butaro said slurping ramen into his mouth. "And we were so worried then because we thought everyone in our class was an idiot. Remember how we thought we'd end up marrying a girl in our class? I said you and Honami would make a great match but you insisted that Sekiguchi and Honami were perfect together. Guess in some ways you were right after all. I met Minami-san once. I thought she and Honami were incredibly alike."

But that's just Butaro and Sekiguchi. I had not heard from any of my classmates in a very long time.

Although whenever I met with Butaro and Sekiguchi they would share theories about what they thought Ono and Sugiyama were up to. Those two were the heroes of 3-4 after all and we were curious to know what had become of them. Did they achieve their dream of sailing around the world together?

And Sakura…

I massaged my temples. _That_ I'd rather not think about. It would be better if I didn't think too much about it. Especially as we were going to meet again very soon.

What would I say to her? I thought to myself. What would I say to the classmates I hadn't met in so long? My heart began to race a bit faster. I got to my feet and headed for the bathroom where I tidied my hair and straightened the collar of my shirt.

At last the train stopped in Shimizu station. I stepped on the platform and mistook a random noise for someone screaming my childhood nickname.

When I walked to my house my family was waiting for me by the door. My brothers welcomed me back enthusiastically as my mother embraced me tightly. "Go say hello to your grandfather," she said with tears in her eyes. "He's in the living room. He'll be so happy to see you." She cried.

The strong stench of incense filled the living room. I waved away some lingering smoke as I walked in and knelt down to pray before my grandpa's portrait.

"Ojii-chan…I'm sorry I'm late. You must think I'm the worst grandkid in the world. I'm sorry I thought you embarrassed me in front of my friends. You were the best old man in the world and I wish you could see how much I've grown…"

My mother walked in and knelt down next to me. "When are you meeting your old friends?" she asked, still teary-eyed.

"Not until after New Year's Okaa-san."

"Good. It'll be good for Ojii-chan to see the whole family eating at the same table again."

I smiled. At home there was no need to pretend to be strong. I sobbed aloud and threw myself into my mother's arms. "Geez I never thought I would miss him so much! I thought he'd always be around! The supporter for the swallow's nest he helped me make is still outside the house. How can he not be here anymore?!"

The sound of my cries was muffled by her warmth and my tears had stained the front of her apron. My brothers had returned to their rooms so I didn't need to worry they might see me.

"He'd be proud you know. You've done so well. I know I'm incredibly proud of you." She said.

In the afternoon I helped my brothers clean the house and change the papers on our sliding doors. We ate red bean cakes and drank green tea while watching a review of last year's _Red and White Singing Competition_. I hadn't watched this episode as I had been working overtime at the office around this time last year. Without Momoe Yamaguchi, the Red team was fighting a losing battle. There was no way they could win, especially now that 'Akikawa' had joined the ranks of the White team.

"Ah, the Red team hasn't won a single show without Momoe-chan. She was really the best female singer in Japan!" I exclaimed and once again felt drowsy from drinking the steaming tea.

"Haha, you're so old Onii-chan! Everyone knows that 'Yukko' _is_ the most popular female singer in Japan!"

"By the way Onii-chan, are you busy later today? Nobuo nii-chan and I want to play soccer with our friends in the park. Can you vacuum and mop the floors for us while we're gone?"

"Hm, I guess I might go to the shrine tonight but I've got nothing at all planned other than that…"

"So you'll help us then?" Those two egged on until at last I caved.

"Ah, what I bother! Why do I have to do so much work on the day I come back? You two better repay me for my kindness while I'm still here! Buy me a grilled squid tonight at the shrine festival or give me two thirds of your pocket money!"

One second they were still in front of me, the next they were stampeding like wild beasts down the hall. I sighed hopelessly and returned to watching TV.

I stared into the TV screen, thinking about all the shows I used to watch sitting in this very place. There was that 'psychic' show my grandfather and I watched together. We held up soup ladles and tried to break them in half using only the "great power of our minds"! Then there were all those stand-up comedy shows we loved to watch. I would imitate the actors and he'd laugh happily as I made a giant fool of myself. All of it happened right here, in this living room. I felt a pang of loneliness shoot into my heart.

When the competition ended (as expected the White team won), I asked my mother for a piece of cloth and retrieved a bucket of water from the bathroom. As a kid I almost never helped my mother with housework. Though I had to do my own cleaning in Tokyo I lived in a tiny apartment and so had absolutely no experience with wiping down a huge hallway all by myself. Rolling up my sleeves and pushing back my hair I got ready for the colossal task ahead of me.

I started off by the lavatory. Pushing the cloth with all my might and kicking my feet in the air to propel myself forward. But I 'propelled' too hard and bumped my head against the wooden shoe cabinet a step from the main entrance. "Tsk. It hurts…" I groaned, rubbing my forehead.

That's when I saw it. Something underneath the shoe cabinet caught my eye. I squeezed my hand through the gap that was as narrow as the slit in a mailbox and rescued whatever it was from the cold stone floor.

It was a notebook. The incredibly thin kind I used in elementary school for homework and class notes. Everyone in our class had one of these. As I kept misplacing mine there were probably over fifty notebooks like these scattered around the house. All of them with my name on the cover and my idiotic stick drawings on random pages. I stopped and blew away the dust.

"Diary..." I read aloud. That was strange. Did I really keep a diary in elementary school? I agonized over it for a few minutes. I couldn't remember… True, the handwriting didn't exactly look like my own either. I didn't believe in needing good handwriting to be a good grown up so I still wrote the same way as I did in elementary school.

I looked a bit more closely at the cover.

Beneath the characters for 'diary', was a name. The characters were messy, obviously written by a child who was no good in school. A kid who also hated helping out with housework, whose only hobbies were lazing about, watching TV and reading manga…

I read aloud each of the syllables. I read them out again. The third time I read them together faster.

My heart skipped a beat as I heard myself say:

_Sakura Momoko_


	2. Diary?

The Forest Where Yamada Saw Fireflies

(Two)

So, this _is_ Sakura's diary. I weighed the notebook in both my hands. The pages were damp and wrinkled due to years of neglect. Dust clung stubbornly onto the edges like furry gray spiders. I also spotted a small stain on the bottom right corner that was about the size of my thumb. An inkblot that looked awfully like a butterfly with misshapen wings, or even a pair of sandals placed side by side.

What do I do with it? I thought. If that had been a multiple-choice question handed to me in Togawa-sensei's class, it would've taken me less than a second to answer it.

**Q.** If you came across the secret diary of one of your classmates, would you:

**A.** Leave it where you found it and pretend you have not seen it;

**B.** Return it to its owner (or to your teacher);

**C.** Read it and give it back to its owner once you're done; no one is looking, no one will know.

If I was still nine years old, I would have circled 'C' in a heartbeat. Yet, as it was obvious to anyone (including me) that I wasn't a little kid anymore, I kneeled by the shoe cabinet for a moment longer, trying to decide what I should do. Everything I had encountered in my adult life urged me to choose B. In my heart I knew it was the right thing to do and I should hand it back to Sakura at our elementary school reunion without laying my eyes upon a single word.

But as the events of four years ago continued to haunt me, I wondered if there was another way to go about this.

Since this _was_ Sakura's diary, what if I could find _the_ _answer_ within these pages? At least a clue that could help me find the answer I've been searching for these past few years.

I wanted to know if my fate had already been decided for me in Grade 3. I wanted to know if I had a 0% chance to begin with.

Was I destined to lose right from the start, before I even had time to realize what I felt for her in my heart?

I squeezed my eyes shut, whispered a short prayer begging forgiveness to whomever would listen. As soon as I was done I briskly flipped the diary to a random page and slowly peeped open one eye…

This is what I read:

_"June 28, 1974_

_Manga…TV…Manga…Drawing…Ribon…Ah, I could do any of these things if I never told Okaa-san that we should write exchange-diaries! Why oh why was I such an idiot! I should have never tried to copy Tama-chan! Or at least chosen to start an exchange-diary with Ojii-chan or Obaa-chan because they wouldn't yell at me if I took an afternoon or two off from all that deep reflection! (And she still expects me to do my homework?! Does she think I have a magical Doraemon like Nobita-kun?! Idiot Okaa-san, pig-faced Oka-san! :[ ) They would give me more snacks instead of taking them away, saying "Oh, Maruko-chan, thank you for sharing your wonderful day with us. How lucky we are to have such a cute and considerate granddaughter! Here, have another red bean bun, or Ojii-chan can take you out for ice-cream. Which do you prefer Maruko-chan?"_

_Oh, was there ever a more unfortunate child than I, Sakura Momoko? Why did I think writing exchange-diaries would be fun? Ah, what have I gotten myself into?"_

Just one look-through and I had no doubt that Sakura had written this. The handwriting was even sloppier than my own! The grammar was awful and everything was written in Hiragana. I felt a paltry sense of pride glow in my heart, but thankfully I had resisted the urge to sneer. What right did I have to judge anyway? Although Yamada was always at the bottom of our class, I was always right next to him in second to last place. Sometimes Sakura or Sekiguchi would squeeze between us and I would get bumped up to third or fourth to last. But that spot of second to last was more often than not reserved for me.

I sighed forlornly and waved away the memories. I glanced around hesitantly to make sure that my brothers hadn't returned. The smell of Okaa-san's _osechi _and the faint sound of her footsteps drifted down the hallway.

"Ah, Noritaka, could you help me with something?"

I hastily snapped Sakura's diary shut and tucked it under my white shirt.

"W-What is it Okaa-san?" I yelled back, an irksome feeling in my stomach as the puckered edges touched my skin. Very similar to that which I felt when I used to cheat at 'rock, paper, scissors' to win an extra pudding cup at lunchtime. A thief's guilt, I guess. For all of the ten minutes the pudding tasted like it was the most delicious thing in the world. Then, catching a glimpse of Kosugi's starved and disappointed face or Yamane's painful expression as he clutched his belly tightly, I would also get a sinking feeling in my stomach and eventually decide that the pudding wasn't so great after all.

"Could you go to the market and buy me another bottle of soy sauce and a couple more spring onions?" She said, stepping into my shadow. "I also heard that toothbrushes are on sale at Mimatsu-san's store…Ah, and go check on your brothers, will you? Tell them it's time they came home for dinner!"

"S-Sure…Let me just go fetch my wallet…"

"Ah? It's ok I have some change here…"

But before she could finish speaking, I had already stumbled back inside my room. Impatiently, I slipped Sakura's diary into the bottom drawer of what used to be my old desk.

It felt strange calling this 'my room' as I had not slept here for four years. I would be returning to Tokyo and my tiny apartment in the bustling city in only a matter of days. In more appropriate terms, this was my brother Nobuo's room, and I was only borrowing it for the time being while both he and Nobuyuki, our youngest brother, shared the room our grandfather used to sleep in.

A poster of "Yomiuri Giants" sparkled on the wall directly above Nobuo's desk so he could gaze up at it whenever he needed inspiration. I stood there, staring at the glossy poster as I tried to remember who it was that watched over me many years ago when I was his age.

Folding a couple thousand-yen notes into my brown wallet, I headed back to the corridor and gaped at the sparkling clean floors. The front door slid open like a penguin on ice. I was shocked that the hinges didn't squeak; and it looked like someone had added a new layer of paint on the wooden frame.

"You forgot something," My mother insisted firmly the instant I stepped out the door. I double-checked the pockets of my winter coat, and confirmed that I was wearing warm gloves. I turned back to my mother with a searching look in my eyes.

"Itterasshai," she said.

Having lived by myself for so long, I had almost forgotten how refreshing it felt knowing someone was waiting for me to return. I scratched my head nervously and muttered, "Ittekuru".

Turning the corner I breathed in the air of the town of my childhood and continued toward the market with my head held high.

* * *

_Comments on Maruko's diary-entry for June 28, 1974 _

_To Maruko: First, __**diary entries should contain more than just complaints!**__ Please write a longer entry tomorrow and include some details about what you did during the day. __**Try reflecting rather than simply retelling the events**__. You say you're engaging in "all that deep reflection" but unfortunately I cannot find a single passage here or in all your previous entries that prove what you say is true. _

_Second, __**please pay more attention to your spelling and grammar!**__ A third-grader should know to use certain kanji words instead of relying solely on hiragana. _

_Third, __**I have already told Ojii-chan to not take you out for ice cream **__until I can see that you're taking this project more seriously. _

_Forth, __**please write more neatly! **__**I will not let you have melon and red bean cake**__ if your handwriting is just as messy tomorrow. _

_Finally, Maruko, __**you are not an "unfortunate child"**__. You have a roof above your head and food before you at every meal. Every member of this family is happy and healthy. __**Please stop complaining **__that you are an "unfortunate child" least this becomes true all too soon…_

_From your Okaa-san, Sakura Sumire, 1974/6/28_

* * *

Thank you for continuing to read this story~ Please leave a review if you liked this chapter ^_^


	3. Mimatsu-san

(Three)

Walking outside, the sun burnt a hole in my neck. It was winter, but the sky was clear, there was hardly a cloud in the sky and the sun was bright like one of those shiny golden collector-edition baseball cards-I could only take an occasional glimpse but never look at it fully.

The shopping district was farther away, but the park where my brothers usually played soccer was along the path I took to school. Back in the day I would sprint past that place every morning and walk past it again in the afternoon on my way home with Butaro and Sekiguchi. Today the sound of kids' laughter filled the air. I saw two or three kites over the rooftops. Several more were dangling limply at medium height, caught between flying and falling. At each corner, I saw another group of kids, tugging on invisible strings. They shouted at each other—to run against the wind or to twist the string so the kite would not get caught in the bare branches. On the empty fields there were red shuttlecocks leaping into the air. I heard sharp echoes when they hit the paddle-boards. The kids kept count of how many times they had kept the shuttlecocks from hitting the ground.

"12, 13, 14…20, 21, 22…"

On New Year's Day 1979, Butaro and I kept it in the air for like 80 hits. It was supposed to be a sign of good luck.

I could be happy. In the city, everyone seemed content to stay indoors playing videogames that I never had the chance to play when I was the age they were made for. Here I could feel there was still something familiar in the air.

Two days after New Year's, Butaro won a grey plastic rifle at the snack shop beside the bridge. And on the night of December 31, only hours after the 80 in _hanetsuki_, I won all the card games and pieced together the most questionable and hilarious face in _fukuwari _that evening. Butaro, Sekiguchi and I all passed our high school entrance exams and were accepted to those schools we more or less hoped to get into.

I had gone out to buy soy sauce and spring onions for my mother, yet there was somewhere else I wanted to visit. I saw Mimatsu-san the same time the store front came into view. The old shop-owner waved when he saw me. Beside him were those wooden boxed filled with piles of candy, and behind him were those shelves stacked full of shoe polish and dustpans. He was leaning against a mop broom and clasped his hands together when I approached the shop. "Hamazaki-kun. Welcome back," he said, smiling. Walking past him I saw the redness of his face, the shining silver in his dark gray hair, and the depths of his wrinkles.

"Mimatsu-san, happy new year!"

He also bowed. "Happy New Year." He added, "It's been a while."

The years transformed into a few seconds of silence. The streets were too quiet for New Year's Eve. I heard the clock ticking softly. Finally I nodded, about to say something when Mimatsu-san ducked down behind the counter.

He looked less jovial in his old age. The state of the store was more apparent to me than it had been the last time I came home. As a child, I always found it a bit of a joke when Mimatsu-san tried to use his out-dated sales tactics to get us to buy stuff from him. We were speechless as we sat through his home-made commercials, and laughed privately in retrospect when we recalled the bright letters reflected on the surface of the water after the fireworks festival.

I remembered our childish jests when he stood back up, his face redder than before. He put his hand on the surface of the table, then on his back that needed some time to pull itself upright. He asked if I wanted to buy some baseballs. They were mint condition from the late 60s. The last shipment received from a warehouse in Sapporo that ultimately closed down for the 1972 Winter Olympics. Antiques, virtually, and, didn't you and your friends play baseball a lot at the time? Why, these were probably manufactured when you were still kids. What good times you all had! You must miss the old times. He said, not-too-subtly sliding the box of old baseballs towards me. I picked one up and ran my thumb over the red linings.

"The same price I would have sold them at twelve years ago."

I remembered playing with Sekiguchi and Butaro during our summer holidays. For an hour or two we became versions of our favourite sports stars. We shouted lines we heard on television. We narrated our own moves aloud in case what other people saw did not match the visions we created for ourselves.

"It's good to be back," I said, and placed a few coins in his wrinkled hands.

"Thank you for your business," he beamed. "Come again soon."

"I might be back a couple of days after New Year's."

"I see."

"Will you be open?"

He smiled modestly. "Yes, everything is half off the first week of the New Year."

"Really? That's great news. I'll come back then."

"Come again."

I waved goodbye.

"Happy New Year Mimatsu-san."

"Happy New Year kid."

It was as I stepped out of the store that I remembered how it was always like this. The 'super sale' the week after New Year's. My mother and I walked from our home to his store to buy a whole five months worth of cleaning products, almost a year's supply of tissues and rolls of toilet paper, and a dozen containers of shoe polish, always at sharply discounted prices. If there was snow we walked slowly, buying less so we could keep our eyes on the pavements. The other stores in the shopping district followed Mimatsu-san's lead. Posters—20% off! Buy One Get One Free!—were taped on almost every shop windows. The wind tore the posters off the glass, chasing them up and down the street. If a poster got stuck to my leg, I couldn't get it off because of everything I was carrying in my arms. If it was dark we followed the streetlights home. When my brothers got older my mom got them to come with us, to help us carry the load. They haven't been doing that anymore recently. After I got my job in Tokyo things have been going better for us. Don't think I can find anything to complain about. Then again, I can. If I could stay in Shimuzu for longer than three, four days at a time, if I had been there for my grandfather in his final days, then I don't think there would be anything left for me to complain about.

The last entry I read in Sakura's diary recounted something that involved me. I hesitated when I recognized my nickname in her writing.

_August 31, 1974_

Today is the worst day of my life. Okaa-san says rumors go away in 49 days, but I don't want to wait such a long time. I want to go back to Minami Island or at least transfer to a different school so I wouldn't have to see Hamaji and hear my classmates laughing about this romance-thing that doesn't even exist…I'm not writing any more today. Sorry Okaa-san.


	4. Back Then

Excerpts from Maruko's Diary from 1974

_I remember a couple of months ago when Maruko was afraid to run the school marathon. She complained, she tried to get out of it, but she ran, and she ran well. Her certificate is still framed on the wall as a reminder that just because she is afraid of something doesn't mean she can't overcome it. Well, she's not afraid of tests because she always forgets about them, but I can tell this isn't something she can easily forget. I went to her room after dinner but she looked despondent and I wasn't sure she would listen to anything I said. I am worried about her, and hope she will overcome this situation. Dear Maruko, when you read this, I hope you will remember that you are a good girl, capable, and considerate. The bad things in life are not here to stay, and I know that you will be fine. Spend more time with Tama-chan. Ask me to make you a cup of cocoa. Remember Hamaji is going through the same thing. This rumour is only a gray cloud over your day and people don't change with the weather. Let me know when you wish to talk with someone. Love, Okaa-san._

* * *

_It's Wednesday. I woke up at 6AM this morning. I watched as my mother made breakfast for our family and helped her lay the plates on the table. My grandfather and grandmother entered the room together. My father came after them but was the first to finish eating. On our way to school my sister and I stopped to see the hydrangeas. They were prettier and the colours were so much brighter than I remembered that I didn't want to take my eyes off of them. When we got to school, my sister had a strange, kind sort-of look on her face, and asked if I wanted to walk home together after school but I said I was going to walk home with Tama-chan.  
I caught up to Hamaji walking to 3-4 before class. He looked just as bad as I felt. I tapped his shoulder, about to ask how his night was, but he averted his eyes for a minute and kept his distance. "What are you doing? We're gunna get laughed at." No sooner did he say that the door to our classroom burst open. "Look, they even come to school together like they're married!" From that point on I knew things would only get worse. Someone had written 'Sakura loves Hamaji' on the chalkboard. In math class, Butaro passed around a comic about the rumour, and I could hear everyone giggling under their breath. It became worse at lunchtime when the boys wouldn't shut up about Hamaji. Hamaji seemed so upset that even I began to feel sorry for him. That idiot Hanawa-kun said something that only made things worse and now on top of everything else Migiwa-san hates me more than ever!  
Okaa-san said that the bad things will go away but so far I think she's wrong and she doesn't understand how things are at school. Even though Tama-chan is on my side I still dread going to school tomorrow. Tomorrow my sister and I will go see the hydrangeas. Tama-chan will try to hide Butaro's stupid comics in her desk so I don't see them, Noguchi-san will erase the vandalism on the classroom chalkboard, and our classmates will keep laughing at us_

_*Big Massive Sigh*_

* * *

_It was during second period. The class right before lunch. Togawa-sensei was teaching us long division when he asked Hamaji to finish a problem on the blackboard. (And, yes, Okaa-san, I was paying attention in class today. We did long division.) Everyone was quiet. We knew he didn't know the answer. Suddenly Sekiguchi said loudly to the guy sitting next to him: "Oi, how can Hamaji think properly when his girlfriend's watching him?" People started sniggering and then one person laughed so loudly that everyone thought it was ok to laugh. Hamaji shouted something at the class but he was so rattled he couldn't string two words together and it made everyone laugh even harder. Although Togawa-sensi didn't know what was going on he managed to make the whole class fall silent. "Oh, Hamazaki-kun I didn't know you had a girlfriend!" He sounded so impressed but no one was brave enough to make fun of the teacher._

_It's true, what Okaa-san said. Things must be pretty tough for Hamaji. Things changed slightly when I realized this. __It felt strange to realize how unhappy he must be right now and it was sad to think how we couldn't talk to each other when we were going through pretty much the same thing. _

* * *

_Today Yamada-kun and I were called to the teacher's office. As we went in, Togawa-sensei saw us over the mountains of textbooks and notebooks on his desk and waved at us. I looked over at Yamada-kun who didn't seem to have grasped where we were, he spun his head this way and that, waved his arms and cried: "Look! There's Togawa-sensei! Hey sensei! How cool was I back there!" And, as he ran over to him, Yamada-kun laughed the way Yamada-kun always laughs. I felt embarrassed when I saw the other teachers watching us and tried to signal to Yamada that he should calm down and of course he flat-out ignored me. He happily skipped to a halt in front of Togawa-sensei._

_"Sakura was pretty cool too, right, right? She got those mean kids to stop saying all those things!"_

_"O? You're very right. Sakura-kun was very cool, and brave, weren't you, Sakura-kun? I am very proud of how you stood up for Honami-kun and Hamazaki-kun just now in the classroom. They must be very important to you. Remember, it is a great virtue to find the courage and to be there for your friends when they are stuck in a difficult situation. That's part of the reason why I wanted you to come to my office today. _

_The other part, as I think you know already, what you said to Sekiguchi-kun and Butaro-kun was hurtful. I understand that your motivations were not bad, but I think it is best for you to apologize to those boys."_

_"But Sensei! Sakura-kun didn't do anything wrong! It was those other guys who..." _

_I was sort of moved by his willingness to stick up for me, and in our teacher's office of all places!_

_"But you understand, don't you Sakura-kun?"_

_I nodded. _

_"Actually both of you were amazing today," he continued, swiveling his chair around, and taking off his glasses. I thought he looked different, but I was more comfortable being around him this way. _

_"You too, Yamada-kun. There are certain things we are willing to do for our friends, I think what you did today showed that there are new bounds the rest of us should discover. Well done, to both of you." _

_That was all he had to say. While I was walking to the door, I saw a photo of Togawa-sensei and his wife on his crowded desk and I remembered it wasn't very long ago that Tama-chan, me, and Butaro and Hamaji went to visit our sensei's home. Argh, do I really miss talking with them?_

_I saw Tama-chan outside and I nodded when she asked if I was alright, but I was really thinking how I should go about apologizing to Sekiguchi and Butaro. _

_I tried to talk to Hamaji again today. After what happened yesterday, he seemed to lose all his energy. He's been keeping his distance and as a result people have been laughing at us a little less. But when we bumped into each other during lunch someone shouted "Look! It's so-and-so again!" and it hurt to see Hamaji lowering his head and say nothing in retaliation. _

_Butaro and Sekiguchi were surprised to see me apologize to them. I went to them after school when they were supposed to be cleaning the classroom. They were playing with the brooms and the wipers for the chalkboard so there was a lot of chalk dust around them. I choked a bit but I managed to say what I needed to say. They stared at me, at each other, then at the messy chalkboard. They shrugged and said "that's alright". It was a bit awkward but they didn't ignore me when I saw Sekiguchi again as I was changing my shoes, he didn't laugh, and said a polite goodbye that made me feel like I had done the right thing. _

_On my way home I saw Hamaji. I tried approaching him since it's been a while since we talked and we weren't around anyone we knew but he began to walk faster. Then he suddenly turned around to look at me. I thought he was going to complain about the other kids and felt hopeful that we could go back to being friends but he surprised me. "Why did you have to give me that?" I didn't have time to say something because he just ran away. _

_Why is it my fault?! I don't know English. I didn't even want to give that badge to Hamaji! I bought it for Migiwa-san and if it weren't for Hanawa-kun none of this would have happened! _

* * *

_Really? REALLY? Does it all go away, just like that? JUST LIKE THAT? Everything that's happened in the past two weeks was one super long and incredibly horrible nightmare and it is OVER! _

_The day started as usual, and by usual I mean our names were still on the chalkboard, we didn't greet each other at the gates, and people giggled behind our backs. Tama-chan was worried about me, as always, she looked like she hadn't slept well __L (Tama-chan, I'm so sorry…it was my carelessness that dragged you into this mess. I don't know how you are still friends with me but thank you and I know I wouldn't have survived without you!) But just as we were sitting down for lunch Hamaji turned around in his chair and asked if he could bump his desk with mine so we could have lunch together. I was unable to speak and someone took advantage of my dumbfounded silence to shout: "The young couple is going to have a romantic lunch together!" I was like 'oh no, it's starting again' but somehow, today I was more frustrated than upset and I shouted back: "I'm going to eat with Hamaji! What are you going to do about that?!" Then I braced myself to hear their sniggers. What I heard instead was Butaro yelling across the room in our defense, buu. Sekiguchi joined him and no one spoke after that. I felt sorry for the person who Butaro yelled at but I was completely over the moon when, on the way home, I saw someone had erased the writing on the board. _

_That seemed to be the end of it, until I got home and Ojii-chan said something to me that made me realize he hadn't the slightest clue what had been going on! The craziness never ends! _


End file.
